Most likely going to be near IMPOSSIBLE to understand, but... uh... ...yes. :D
Title: In The Absence Of Wind
Author: Desultory Speech
Genre: Angst; prose. Themse of Death.
Pairing: Implications of JaeMin, YooMin, JaeChun.
Synopsis: Tear obscure my eyes as I tear him down; the rope is weak and doesn't take much more weight to snap.
Story © Cillisian Thatcher/Diese Stifte/DesultorySpeech, June 11th, 2008</b>
Look at me. Look at me and tell me what you did wasn't on purpose; tell me, for Gods sake, that you didn't mean it.
Don't look at me with those glazed, lifeless eyes; don't tell me you did.
His body hangs limp in the air, swaying gently against a blank canvass that surrounds him. The walls were always too white, I realize then, looking up at his pale body like he was my idol.
Was it wrong that he was? Wrong that I had wanted so badly to be with him; part of him; together and for always, till death do us part.
That's what this is, isn't it.
Swaying in the absence of wind, I know you must have stuggled. Did you realize this wasn't what you wanted? Did you remember you forgot to kiss me goodbye?
Maybe it's wrong, but I can't help it.
It's your favourite sort of thing.
Tears obscure my eyes as I tear him down; the rope is weak and doesn't take much more weight to snap. He lands on top of me with a thud, the both of us collapsing against the hard floor. He's still warm; so warm.
My fingers explore his hair as I treasure this last moment, as the tint in his skin slowly fades and I know more than anything that he's too far gone to ever come back.
What did you think of yourself as you pressed again him?
'Baby, baby,' I call, stroking my tears as they fall to his face. I'm criyng for you, baby; I'm crying to you. Don't die yet, so young. Don't give up yet, so niave and unexperienced. We need you; I need you. I love you.
'Minnah, Minnah,' I sob, pulling his body close to me. Rocking his tiny frame back and forth, trying to comfort myself in the premise of his lack of life.
I bet you felt real hot; like a hot shot that owned the world.
Was this what he wanted? For me to feel so low that I'd join him in death? His companions were never that great, but he told me I was the light of his world.
How did you feel with his fingers grazing your back?
How'd life feel when he was your short fix of crack?
If tiny kisses and proclimations of love weren't enough to keep him here, then what was? What did he need that I couldn't give him? What did he want that I couldn't provide?
They say loves the slowest, most painful sort of suicide.
Reality hit home a thousand times today; one more won't hurt, right?
'How are you feeling today?'
'Good, how are you?'
'Just great, Minnah; I wrote you a song, want to hear it?'
'I love you Jae, of course I want to.'
It sickened me to listen to them talk, whispering and loving eachother behind our backs. His heart must have hurt so badly when their relationship broke, that he didn't even realize I was there.
Whats the point in pretending slow and easy makes it these days? I want out; he wanted out and he got it.
And now I felt even more dirty than before.
If I knew his touches would have done this to you, I would have never complied.
Story © Cillisian Thatcher/Diese Stifte/DesultorySpeech, June 11th, 2008