Cillisian Thatcher (desultoryspeech) wrote,
Cillisian Thatcher

The Conversation That Led To Sex [Drabble]

Requested by my cousin Haille, who wants lots of fluffy JaeChun love.

Title: The Conversation That Led To Sex
Words: 1 753
Author: Desultory Speech
Genre: Fluff...?
Rating: Mature, just to be careful.
Pairing: JaeChun
Synopsis: See Title.
Comments: ...*cough*

It was evening; YooChun lay on his back, groggy and attempting to let sleep enwrap him in its warm and loving arms. He was exhausted – with good reason – and could really use a good six to eighteen hours of sleep to rejuvenate himself.

JaeJoong, however, was keen on something entirely different, and that happened to involve his warm and loving arms, rather than those of sleep. In fact, his plans for YooChun had nothing to do with sleep at all – it was quite the opposite actually.

They conversed briefly, before JaeJoong got his way (because JaeJoong always gets his way, which rightfully pisses YooChun off).

And this is what their conversation consisted of;

“Jae… go away…”



“Don’t swat me, Chunnie!”

“…Then don’t lick me…”

“…But you’re not paying attention to me.”

“That’s because sleeeeeeeeeeep~”

“Fine, I’ll just keep you into a choke hold until you love me some.”

“Let me go”-

“Not until you say you love me as much as I love you~~~”

“...Let me”-

“That’s not a response.”

“Do you really?”

“Love you?”


“I thought we’ve already established this!”

“We did, but I just want to be sure.”

“Yah, I do.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Fine; I fucking love you, now give me a kiss.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Fuck yes, I am.”



“You didn’t answer me.”


“Does that mean you love me to?”

“Hmm? Yah, yah, now shut up, I’m tired…”

“Not the reaction I was expecting, but okay.”


“Hey, love?”


“Does that mean we’re together?”


“…Does that mean yes?”

“Shut up JaeJoong.”

“No! I need to know if this makes us a couple or not! I demand an answer!”

“Do you want to be?”

“Fuck yes.”

“You say fuck a lot.”

“That’s because I want to,”

“What did I say before?”

“Before what?”

“-YooChun Groans To The Max In Annoyance-”

“You told me to shut up,”

“And why aren’t you?”

“I am, kissing doesn’t count as talking.”

“I said something else before I told you to” –yawn– “shut up.”

“You did.”

“Good good, you remember.”

“I do.”

“And what was it I said?”

“To go to sleep.”

“And why aren’t you?”

“Because I love you~~”

“Your annoying…”

“And you’re cute when you’re tired.”



“Go away~”

“Do you want me to leave you, then?”


“Is that a yes?”


“Mmmmm…. I think it’s a loud no.”


“And that being a lou- did you just call me Joongie?”


“Did you?”


“You did!”

“Ugh… go away…”

“Joongie~ Jooooooongie~ Awe, I like that. Joooooongiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee~”

“Shut up, Joong-face.”

“…I like that slightly less.”

“Good. Go to sleep.”

“Well alright… wait, no! That was mean.”


“I demand sex as repayment.”



“I read somewhere too much sex can kill you.”

“Really? What did I say to you about reading? Especially with the limited amount of brain space you have already. You could kill yourself, Chunnah, as in DEATH. D-E-A-T-H. I, Doctor JaeJoong, advise that you stop this dangerous reading you’ve been doing and instead settle on having lots and lots of sex.”

“Hah… your cute.”

“…sex now?”


“Fuck, I was hoping for a yes.”

“Well too bad; no sex.”

“…How about we have a little sex?”

“Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. End of story.”

“A teeeeensy, little, tiny amount of sex?”


“Quickly? Really quick? Just a quick pop in and out and you won’t even notice”-

“JaeJoong, shut up.”

“…That doesn’t mean yes, does it?”

“No, it means no. A straight, blank, don’t argue with me no.”

“…I don’t like those sorts of no’s.”

“Really? I like them a lot.”

“So if I told you, in a straight, blank, don’t argue with me no that we can’t be together, would be like it?”

“Right now? Yah.”

“What?! Why?!”

“Because that would probably mean you leaving and or shutting up, which means I get sleep.”

“…You’d really do all that for sleep?”


“You’d give me up for slumber?”



“I’d die if I didn’t sleep so I’d be giving you up anyways.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

“…Quit touching me.”


“It’s unnerving…”

“Not a good enough reason…”

“And stop staring at me, that’s equally as unnerving.”



“What? Your pretty, and your skins really soft… and your hair smells really nice… and so does your skin, actually...”

“You make me sound like a buffet.”

“Oh but you are; a lovely, lovely buffet, all for me and no one else.”


“Quit grunting, it ruins the atmosphere.”

“Stop smelling me and I will.”

“But you smell so good~”


“Call me Joongie again; I liked that.”




“If you don’t, I’m going to angst and write about it in a song.”



“No, I refuse to call you that.”

“But why~?”

“Because I read somewhere that it’s bad to fluff a mans ego.”

“You read to much.”


“Stop reading; do more ego fluffing and loving… and have more sex while you’re at it.”

“Go away, JaeJoong.”

“You don’t really mean that, do you?”

“I kind of do; I mean it more each time I say it.”

“But aren’t I nice and warm~~?”

“A little, but a few more blankets would suffice.”

“But then you’d have to get up and get those blankets, and I’m all nice and here and convenient.”

“…You also won’t shut up. I’ll take the tedious trip to the closet.”

“You keep blankets in a closet?”

“Right, I don’t… I’ll take the tedious trip to my bedroom.”

“I like the way you think. Let’s take that trip right now.”

“Not what I meant, JaeJoong.”

“Oh, but I wish you had.”



“Why are you calling me that?”

“Haven’t you heard of pet names before? They sort of come with relationships. It’s like a two-in-one deal.”

“Why don’t you just call me by my name?”

“…Because I like the whiney sound of pet names more.”


“Besides, this way, should I use your name you know I’m either really serious or about to cum.”

“…That’s an unpleasant mental image.”

“Oh, but so honest. I think I even deserve some loving for that honesty I just displayed right there.”

“What was that thing I said before? Oh yah; go away.”

“I don’t like the tone you’re taking with me.”

“You’re annoying me.”

“But I’m being honest~ don’t you want honestly in our relationship?”

“I want silence in our relationship.”



“Well that’s no fun.”

“Ugh, fine; pardon my asking, but what the heck do you want in a relationship, past the honesty and sex resulting from that honesty?”

“…Hmm… you took the main two…soooo…”

“You’re a jerk.”

“I’m kidding~ I suppose I would want loyalty and affection… and, of course, the assurance that you love me and only me.”


“…You don’t love anyone else, do you?”

“I don’t know, Yunho’s been rubbing off on me lately.”

“I’m being serious!”

“So am I! He’s got a nice body; I bet he’d be good in bed. And Junsu’s pretty cute, too. I wonder how long it’ll take for me to hook up with the rest of the band.”



“I’m not talking to you anymore.”


“I don’t like that relieved tone you used just now.”

“…I don’t like that you said you weren’t going to talk but you still are…”


“Don’t glare at me; you’re the one that wanted honesty.”

“Not that kind of honesty.”

“What other kind is there? I’m honest, I’m not honest, I’m honest some more, I’m half honest, I’m sugarcoating – honesty is honesty.”

“How about your honest when you want to do me but not so much past that?”

“Okay, so I’ll lie when I want to do Yunho.”


“And say that I want to do you.”


“…How’s that sound, eh?”

“You’re twisting my words and I don’t like it.”

“Well it’s either that or I be a hundred percent honest, even when it hurts. Which do you prefer?”



“Does the half-honest involve lots of sex?”

“Oh yah, tons of sex. So much sex that you don’t know what to do with it. But after that I leave you for Yunho and you don’t have sex ever again, get really old and die alone.”

“…But there will be sex?”

“Yes. But only for a few years.”


“Whatever gets you through the day.”

“…But then you’d leave me for Yunho.”


“Well, putting all that into an equation, I’d like a merge option; lots of sex and lots of honesty. The best of both worlds.”

“…You can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it makes me feel like I’ve been cheated.”

“Hm… fine, then I choose honesty, but I hope that I get lots of affection because of it.”

“Yes, you do.”




“…Right now?”

“My god, JaeJoong, is that all you think about?”

“No, I think about a vast expanse of things; like what I’m going to eat, when to breath, what movies I want to go see, how I’m going to bang you senseless”-

“It all sounds rather simplistic.”

“I’m a simple guy. Content with the little things, y’know.”

“Like eating, breathing and having sex.”

“You left out the movie watching.”

“Right, well, god forbid you do all those things at the same time.”


“You don’t want to do all those at the same time, do you?”

“Well, think about it; we already have the sex and breathing down pack. How much more is it to put on a nice slasher Fic and have burritos?”


“Besides, it is said that the best lover turns into a pizza at 4.00 am.”

“Why burritos? And a slasher Fic? What ever happened to good old porn, chocolate, and strawberries?”

“Well we don’t have any strawberries, and chocolate goes straight to my thighs.”


“And my porn collection has been stolen by Changmin, soo…”

“You had a collection?”

“And Changmin took it.”

“…A collection?”

“Yah, I’m going to have to get that back. I miss my porn.”



“You’re ridiculous, Jae, really ridiculous.”

“But I’m your ridiculous little Joongie~”

“…Please don’t remind me.”

“Hey! That’s a shot at my ego.”

“You need a shot to your ego; it’s bigger than Yesung’s head!”


“Don’t glare at me.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“So are you.”




“Oh-hoho, I think your mistaken; your my bitch.”




“Is it just me or do is this dirty talk kind of hot?”

“Want to have sex now?”


-The End-
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